- I'm irritated about sucky boys. How they storm into our lives like Hurricane Katrinas and think they can take over, because most of the time they can't but every once in a while one of those suckers comes blowing in at 145 mph winds and totally gives us no choice except to love the chaos that they bring with them. I speak for my friend (Crazy) at the moment because nobody should have to engage in retail therapy for boys...ever. And don't you forget it.
- I'm irritated about all the people on the damn metro. Yes. Every single one of them. They push you out of the way, the stand the fuck up before the train stops while frantically yelling "Excuse me! Excuse Me!" Yes fucker, I hear you. I apologize for the million people crowded around me and that I can't move anywhere to get out of your way. I mean, seriously. Calm the fuck down. Just calm the fuck down. You're going to get off the train just fine. Nobody's going to leave you on the metro bus. Somebody will allow you to squeeze your fat ass off the train so you can run like a raging idiot to your next train and realize that it doesn't arrive for 4 minutes yet. Your Welcome for making my life miserable for about 30 seconds while I have to listen to you and while you shove your nasty sweaty armpits in my face. Also, you're not that important. Nobody cares if your 4 minutes late to work. If you're that worried, wake up earlier. Dumbass.
- I'm irritated that I have to listen to my coworkers and the news talk about Sara Stripper Palin and John McCain and Barrack Obama. They all suck. I don't want to hear anything else about them. Nobody is going to fix the economy, nobody is going to get us out of Iraq, nobody is going to make the United States a better place to live. All politicans suck. They are greedy bastards and there is nothing we can do about it, and no I will not vote, so quit getting in my face about it. I don't like either candidate, why would I try to help one win. I don't really care. So please close your newspaper, and kindly shut the fuck up.
- I'm irritated that I have finally come to terms with an actual Bridezilla, Ladies and Gentlemen: Meet my sister. I mean, really? I would much rather buy and iPhone than a $305 YELLOW bridesmaid dress. Oh, pardon me, the color is "Maize". You know, that color in the crayon box that was always confusing because I mean, Maize is clearly not yellow. Oh, but she's being so lax. We can all pick the style of dress that we want, but if we don't all wear the same one, we all have to wear different ones. We have 5 styles to pick from...and wait, there are 5 bridesmaids. That means, somebody is going to get stuck with the ugly one. Can I just wear my iPhone please? OH but we can pick our own shoes. As long as they are "bronzy gold". How nice. I see tons of "bronzy gold" shoes all over the place. How will I ever choose. I'm sure bronzy gold shoes will be less than $100 also, since there are so many to choose from. Bronzy gold...I don't even know what that means.
Okay, I have to stop because now this is depressing me. I have funny stories to tell when I'm not in such a horrible mood. So um, I'm going to straighten my act up and I'll be back.
